What follows is a transcript of a sentence-at-a time story told by the residents of [Again with the address thing? Come on dude! It’s the internet], Hanna, Sarah, Atticus, and Jasper, and me. As in, a story that is told by, us one sentence at a time. Here it goes.
“This isn’t like a recording of history, or whatever!” she screams.
The boy looks at the copy of The Hobbit in the girl’s hands and replies, “I know.” The boy pulls out a blue ray DVD of Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith and says, “This is.”
Alex screams again, but this time it’s more of a wail. Liam kneels down and turns on the blu-ray player. He presses play and takes a seat. “You must be the only person on Tatooine who hasn’t seen this historical document,” he says, shaking his head in disbelief.
Outside the bedroom window a binary sunset unfolds across a high desert mesa. Alex leans against the windowsill, refusing to watch the opening credits roll. The Star Wars theme song begins to play and Alex screams a third time, attempting to drown it out.
The screen pauses and a voice says, “Wait, I’m not sure I get it. Is this supposed to be meta or something?”
“Yeah, cause they’re on Tatooine; it actually is a historical document.”
“Weird, but okay,” Leia says, settling back in to her chair and pressing play.
Onscreen, Liam points the remote at the TV and turns the volume up. Excitedly, he says to Alex, “And the funny thing is, in our universe Hayden Christensen plays Obi Wan Kenobi and Ewan McGregor plays Anakin Skywalker.”
The screen pauses again. “Woah! The same McGregor who plays Qui Gon Jinn?”
“No, the other one.”
Leia rolls her eyes and presses play again.
Alex knew she had taken a gamble in coming here. Why couldn’t she just have swiped right on the cute bartender with the old sand-speeder? “I can’t believe you still refer to it as ‘our universe’. You know as well as I do that we share this land with orcs, elves, dwarves… and DRAGONS,” she screams, slamming her head against the wall.
“Oooh who did you get to do the narration on this? Is that Kevin Swayze?”
Luke stands up and gets another drink from the fridge.
“Do you want anything?”
“get ma A Fucking MeatfbAll SpageTTi”
Luke groans and walks back to the couch.
Liam gets up from the couch and goes to the fridge. “We have leftover spaghetti and meatballs! Want any?”
Luke turns to Leia “Do you ever think about that kiss?”
Holy shit, Leia thinks, I do know him: Bonnaroo 2013
“When you swiped right, I assumed you had recognized me,” continues Luke.
Liam and Alex shovel spaghetti into their mouths, making lurid eye contact. Suddenly, they both start violently choking on their food.
“Do you hear someone choking”
Luke and Leia run out their apartment door and hear violent choking noises over the sound of the Star Wars opening credits coming from their neighbors across the hall. Luke begins kicking down the door. Leia happens to glance behind her and notices on the screen, in their apartment, Luke has appeared in an open doorway.
“Hey man you ruined our take! And that was a livestream, too.”
“WreeaeaaaakAwaaagaaaraa” says Chewbacca, holding the camera.
“That’s a wrap”
Well, that was interesting.
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